It’s time for another round from the wise, significantly loved, creator of the very best chicken soup in the planet, mother of a polka dot, lengthy time married Mother Polka Dot! You can read preceding musings from Mother Polka by clicking right here.
More than the years at girls’ gossip sessions and coffee mornings, I have listened with silent horror at the confidences imparted by some women about their partners. I’d much more typically than not, figuratively place my fingers in my ears and hum ‘la-la-la’ so as not to hear. And then there was the tiny difficulty of seeing ‘he, who was gossiped about’, and pretending not to really feel ever so slightly uncomfortable!
Early on in our connection I resolved that I would try my ‘darndest’ to be my husband’s finest friend. That to me meant unfailing loyalty, not divulging issues that had been told to me in confidence, or private matters – no matter how ‘un-burdening’ the prospect may have been to let slip a little tidbit. I wanted to produce an atmosphere exactly where he felt he could tell me something and not have his self-confidence betrayed. I could not have agreed with him, and some issues have made me actually angry. At times I wished I could have screamed. And I had no hesitation in telling him so.
But everyone wants to feel that an individual is there for them and will accept them no matter what. And often, to be truthful, what he mentioned or did, and my lack of acceptance of it, was really my difficulty!
When expanding up, we looked to our parents, a loving grandparent or aunt maybe to offer that specific safe zone – where we could tell them anything and we would be loved and accepted anyway. As teenagers we were left reeling when an individual we referred to as a unique friend betrayed us and seemingly created light of our confidences.
What is so various when we are married or in a committed connection? Are we not hoping that our companion is our ‘safe place’? Ought to we not honour our companion in the same way?
When instances get challenging, it will be the talking and listening to each other that will get you via. Set the pattern for a excellent talking relationship early on. Be every single other’s very best friend and confidant. But honour this responsibility your companion has offered to you by listening and accepting, and above all not betraying his confidences to any person – not even your mother or your mates!
Confidences offered to you, are a gift that are an honour to obtain. Your power comes from holding them close to you and treasuring the reality that an individual believed you critical and trustworthy enough to divulge a piece of themselves to you. It is much more effective to’ know’ than to ‘divulge’.
By telling other individuals, you have not only offered away your personal energy, but that of the individual who confided in you. Would you then want to tell you a secret?
Want Far more? Examine Out These Posts:
- Mother Polka’s Musings – Getting Oneself
- Mother Polka’s Musings – Require Or Want
- Mother Polka’s Musings – Inspiration